what do you think ”my propeller” is about? I believe it’s about a prostitute… Anonymous

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Your claim now stands before the Court of Common Sense, and I’m judge and jury up in this bitch.

The argument in favor of MyProProstitute lacks merit and should be dismissed as a matter of fact on the grounds that it has no basis in reality. Why not? Ooh, allow me to explain:

If I stood within a 5 mile radius of wherever Alex Turner happened to be, and then I closed my eyes and threw a rock in a random direction, it would have an 88% chance of hitting an attractive young female willing to have glorious sex with him, free of charge.

There’s no shortage of young, beautiful females at his disposal - and it’s safe to assume at least 25% of them don’t have sexually transmitted diseases - so what’s the upside for Alex in visiting The Whornerstone? Does he just have a thing for dirty girls? Maybe.  But the world isn’t exactly lacking in low-down dirty skanks who wouldn’t cost him a penny. 

And let’s not lose sight of the obvious:  Alex Turner is such a sensitive little flower, there’s no way he makes love to a prostitute without crying. Whores HATE cuddling and kissing - that’s the first thing they learn in Slut Training - so how do you think they’d respond to our sweet, needy little lovebug? Come on, he’s softer than Charmin! That’s like sending a lamb to the slaughter. Make a mess, lioness?

As a legendary Polish philosopher once postulated, Alex Turner lives by THE WAY OF FAMOUS DICK. The world is his vagina and he ain’t payin for it.

Case closed.